Belinda Carbuncle
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Made in England
© Belinda Carbuncle

The Band - Slim Steve Carbuncle
Slim Steve Carbuncle Slick Nick Lovestick Slim Paul Carbuncle
Slim Steve Carbuncle
Instrument   Guitar  
Age   Pre-pubescent  
Favourite drink   Anything with a badger rating  
Best chat up line   "Wanna come over for some beer and sex? No? Why, don't you like beer?"  
Earliest memory   Well it all began shortly before the Queen's jubilee. It was a Wednesday, I know that because we'd sat down to a cuppa in front of Coronation Street to wash down our dinner, which was pasta that day - we ate very continentally at that time. Anyway, soon after the credits my mum, for this is what I called her, started to shake with mirth. "Whatever's so funny?" my father, for this is what he was to me, enquired. This is all I can remember of this precise incident.
Ugliest part of the body   Lefty  
Favourite Natalie Imbruglia song  


So, when's your birthday?   I think it's on February the 15th this year  

Favourite band

  The Limping Kidneys  
Least favourite band  

Large Wife

Favourite word   Doorway  
Bestest present ever, ever, ever...   Seventeen Cliff Richard biographies  
Favourite soap opera character   Anne, the boss-eyed girl off Neighbours  
Any special talents?   I'm proud to say that I can mime the parish boundary of Milton-next-Thanington in Kent.  
Would you like to recommend a website for the kids to visit?   Here's one! Now we can all talk Swedish.  
Favourite punchline   'Cos 1-2-3-4-5!  
When the pikey women kick off at a gig, which song do you find best for calming things down?   'Red house'  
Dream sparrow   A speckly hedge-sparrow please, nice and noisy, and a good 6 inches long  
What do you look for in a woman?   Pity  
Name a chord beginning with E   E minor  
Where did it all go wrong?   Soon after 'You drive me crazy'. In fact, 'Shooting gallery' was probably the turning point...  
Which Suffolk parish comes to mind when you hear the word 'chin-strap'?   Errrrrrm, Worlingworth?  
Favourite gardening tool   Tweezers, and goats  
Reason to be cheerful   Tweezers, and goats  
Your most inspired lyrical offering   "My cousin's got a Rottweiler, a huge Rottweiler, a great big Rottweiler, and a Peugeot 106 for sale"  
Recipe for love   Three chords and a carrier bag  

Next pop-star please