Leonard the vicar

Reverend Leonard had a hobby playing with model trains
He painted all his engines and he gave them different names
Any train that Hornby made you could bet the vicar had it
He had miles and miles of track set up in his attic

Every Sunday afternoon was choir practice time
And Leonard used to make the choirboys all stand in line
And as they started eagerly to sing out loud and holler
The Reverend Len would feel a little hot under the collar

"Sing up boys" he shouted and his head began to sweat
"If you're good I'll take you home to play on my train-set"
They sang their little hearts out so they could see the trains
And Leonard smiled as he imagined all the fun and games

"Right, that's enough" he said when they had sung Hallelujah
"Put your hymnbooks down boys, you can all get in my car"
They climbed in his Allegro and he drove off down the street
With fourteen juicy choirboys crammed onto the backseat

They whispered in anticipation, eager and ecstatic
Soon as they got to the vicarage they ran up to the attic
"Oh goody gumdrops!" cried the boys, "What jolly super trains!"
The vicar sat down at the controls and then switched on the mains

His engine started warming up and throbbing deep inside
The boys looked on excitedly, their mouths were open wide
And now the engine came to life and steam shot out its funnel
One little boy said "Vicar, oh please will you drive it up this tunnel?"

"Certainly" chuckled Leonard, and he thrust with all his might
The choirboy held his breath and then he squealed with delight
The vicar showed off all his tricks, he coupled and he shunted
He made sure every single boy was thoroughly contented

"And now it's time for tea" said Len, "My engine's overheating"
He gave them each a creamy slice and happily watched them eating
They stuffed their little mouths and they said "Thank you Reverend Len
We've had a really spiffing time, we must do this again"

"Indeed you shall!" the vicar said, "Now let's get going lads
And remember, it's a secret, don't tell your mums and dads"
He drove them to their houses, went back to the vicarage and
Got into bed and fell asleep with his engine in his hand

Belinda Carbuncle

Slim Paul says: all the words in the wrong order.

Slick Nick says: Oh goody gumdrops!

Slim Steve says: I've broken another string.