Janet from Planet Thanet

"I want all your money
I want to be your wife
I want to sit and watch telly
I want to waste my life
I'm the girl that everyone's had
I've been all over the town
Now I want to live in a cul-de-sac
And I'm going to tie you down"

Aaagghh - it's Janet from Planet Thanet!
She's a budding housewife
She's a bride-to-be to be
Aaagghh - it's Janet from Planet Thanet!
There's a twinkle in her eyes that scares the shit out of me

"I want babies
I want a wedding ring
I want to get my claws in you
I want everything
I want a honeymoon in Ramsgate
I never want to get a job
I want a nice semi-detached house
I want to be a slob
I'm the girl that everyone's had
I've been all over the town
Now I want to live in a cul-de-sac
And I'm going to tie you down"

Aaagghh - it's Janet from Planet Thanet!
She's a budding housewife
She's a bride-to-be to be
Aaagghh - it's Janet from Planet Thanet!
There's a twinkle in her eyes that scares the shit out of me

Never ever say hello to Janet
Never ever say hello to Jan
Never ever say hello to Janet
She'll have you for a husband if she can
If she can

Belinda Carbuncle (with apologies to The Lurkers, sort of)

Slim Paul says: It nearly happened to Colin.

Slick Nick says: I've always said, I don't do the M thing.

Slim Steve says: I want one.