Hold yer own

When the women are all taken, all partnered up and gone
At the end of an evening, going home
Well don't you feel neglected, you should feel contented
Cos you can always hold yer own

I can't pull when I'm out, I can't pull any time
The only thing I pull makes me go blind
But I'm not jealous of my peers who have continuous affairs
I'll still be holding mine when they've lost theirs

Hold yer own in the evening
Hold yer own through the day
Hold yer own in conversation on the phone
Don't you feel neglected, you should feel contented
Cos you can always hold yer own

Well don't be sad and glum at another failed evening
When there's no-one left to take home
When things are going bad and all the women have been had
You can always hold yer own

Hold yer own in the evening
Hold yer own through the day
Hold yer own in conversation on the phone
Don't you feel neglected, you should feel contented
Cos you can always hold yer own

A judge can hold his own in court and deliberate at leisure
And when he sends people down it's purely for pleasure
When a girl holds my own I will always thank her
When a politician holds his own he really is a wanker

Hold yer own in the evening
Hold yer own through the day
Hold yer own in conversation on the phone
Don't you feel neglected, you should feel contented
Cos you can always hold yer own in the evening
Hold yer own through the day
Hold yer own in conversation on the phone
When things are going bad and all the women have been had
You can always hold yer own

Belinda Carbuncle

Slim Paul says: This particular wanking song is not by me. Steve claims it's about standing up for yourself, so to speak.

Slick Nick says: None of our songs are very good. Some of them are particularly bad. And there's some in the tin on the mantelpiece.

Slim Steve says: Sorry sorry sorry.