Brown car

I've got a car and it goes very nice
Didn't cost very much and it was cheap at the price
Yet whenever I go to offer anyone a ride
People take one look and they run away and hide

It's not because there's no electric windows
Or that the roof won't go down
It's cos the inside and the outside
Of my car is brown

I've got a brown car, family saloon
Four door hatchback, plenty of room
Four speed gears, automatic choke
Yet people always think my car's a joke

My lady called to see my new motor
So I took her outside and I showed her
Turned her nose like there's a bad odour
Said she'd rather travel in a Skoda

Lord let me have a grey car
Or give me one that's pink
It doesn't have to be a new car
Just one that's not the colour of shit

Lord let me have a green car
Or give me one that's blue
It doesn't have to be a fast car
Just one that's not the colour of poo

Lord let my car be yellow
Or give me one that's red
It doesn't have to be a sports car
Just one that's not the colour of my shed

Here we go!

Belinda Carbuncle

Slim Paul says: Farewell now dear Brown Car, so long Mrs Flewitt, cheerio Doris, ta-ra Cliff, toodle-oo Robert, hej hej Trude the fish-eyed kitten-impaler and Sven the sleek and inflammable, let us now rejoice and welcome Jesper Olsen (with a silent Olsen) and poor cider-wrecked Frida. Morning!

Slick Nick says: None of our songs are particularly bad. Some of them are very good.

Slim Steve says: Landscape painting is the obvious resource of misanthropy.