Song about being an alien
Hello - I'm an
alien! My name is Zit. Here's 3 zogras, I'll have a pint of best please. Everything
starts with z on our planet cos we're aliens. The best thing about being an
alien is having two willies and the worst thing is having to keep stopping off
in cornfields to empty both bladders. I like your earth girls, they give me
the horns. Nice bums. All the girls on planet Zthsormbviwojgfwxdippglvnyxmidvku
look like Moira Stewart and they are perpetually miserable. They've got farty
breath. I wish I was a librarian in a big checked shirt like Rory Gallagher
wore when he got bigger and his mate had to stamp on his head. I met Buz today.
I learnt many useful everyday phrases. Funbags! Oooh Matron! Oi oi saveloy!
Soapy tit wank! Fuck off you're shit! I wrote a poem, it goes like this... Roses
are red, Violets are blue, I'm going to sneeze, Achooo! It's not very good is
it? But I'm only a fukkin alien.
© Belinda Carbuncle
Slim Paul says: There are three types of people in this world - those who can count and those who can't.
Slick Nick says: Blip blop I am from another place. Blip blop I am not like you.
Slim Steve says: Die human scum! Better still, dye human scum.